3. Be Real
There are two voices in your brain. The first says, “If I admit my mistakes, I’ll look weak and lose people’s respect.” The second says, “When a person I respect admits her mistakes, I end up respecting her more.” Isn’t it amazing how you can know a fact but think you’re the only one on the planet that it doesn’t apply to?
When you’re wrong, say it. It may temporarily streak your self-image, but it polishes the image others see.
Let’s say you lose your cool and ridicule a worker in front of everyone. A moment later you regret your action and decide to admit you were wrong. You can say you’re sorry in two ways. No matter what words you use, the first kind of sorry means, “I’m sorry because what I did made me look foolish.” The only thing you regret is the damage you did to yourself. Let’s call that a selfish sorry.
The second kind of sorry means, “I’m sorry because I embarrassed you, hurt you, and didn’t treat you with the respect you deserve.” You realize, regret, and admit the damage you did to the other person. Let’s call that a proper sorry because, well, that’s the proper way to do it. You don’t need to tell someone which sorry you mean— she knows from the way you say it. When you’re the boss, stick to the proper sorry.
4. Be Notice
It’s hard to get through a day without getting hit by a negative remark from a teacher, coach, friend, or family member. Some days you start to wonder if there’s a note on your forehead: “Rip on me—I like it.” You can give your coworkers an oasis of praise in an often cruel world. Here are some nice things to say and do:
Affirmation is declaring what’s true. You affirm someone when you tell her what’s true about herself— “You’re a punctual person,” “You think clearly under pressure,” “You juggle chain saws better than anyone I know.” Since most of us are frequently reminded of what we aren’t, it’s a real boost to hear good things about our talents and qualities.
Your affirmation will carry twice the power if you show the person proof of your claim—”I just saw how you handled that angry customer. You were quiet, friendly, and showed her that you cared. When it comes to dealing with customers, you’re a pro.” She can’t deny it—you’ve got her pegged.
Encouragement literally means “to fill someone’s heartwith hope.” Long hours, a tough workload, problems with coworkers—these things and a hundred more can discourage people on the job. You can give a little hope with a kind word, a smile, a round of M&Ms, or a pat on the back. One of the best encouragements is to pitch in and help someone get the job done.
Appreciation is thanking someone for what she’s done for you. “Thanks for carrying the box—you saved me an extra trip.” “You make my job much easier. I appreciate your hard work.” “Thanks for squashing that bug—my dad’s stuck in traffic.”
Get in the habit of writing notes. A spoken praise is often forgotten, but a short note of affirmation, encouragement, or appreciation makes it official—you mean what you say.
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