“Have you heard this one …”
As women began to move up in the workplace, certain management consultants propagated the view that, along with wearing pin-striped suits and ties, women should drink, swear and share locker-room jokes with the boys. Fortunately women no longer feel that they have to become male clones to succeed.
No-one, either male or female, should feel obliged to listen to off- colour, offensive jokes or foul language in the workplace or at work- related social gatherings. If possible, vote with your feet. Leave the room or join another group of people.
It’s more tricky if a client is involved, but again don’t compromise. In this case your own code of courtesy and your courage is being put to the test. Point out firmly that you don’t appreciate that kind of humour and change the subject. It has been my experience that you may lose the battle, but you’ll win the war. People’s initial annoyance makes way for respect, however grudging, for someone who stands her moral ground.
“Let’s leave it to the girlies …”
Deal with this verbal put-down as firmly as you would a racist remark. The intention is to belittle and devalue you as a woman.
Offensive comments and jokes can be regarded as a soft form of sexual harassment. They are designed to make you feel uncomfortable and defensive. If you have no Success in dealing with this on a one-to-one basis, voice your complaint in private to senior management. If they are also at fault, raise the issue and bring it into the open by placing it on the agenda at your next staff meeting. You’ll make yourself unpopular with boorish staff members regardless of their rank, but you’ll also have lots of support from well-mannered colleagues of both sexes. Moreover, you create a climate of courtesy and respect which will be appreciated by colleagues, clients and customers alike.
How to deal with sexism
Consider your own workplace situation. What situations do you face and what action, if any, should you take? Are there risks involved? How can you approach these dilemmas firmly but politely?
Ask your mentor to act as a sounding board for your plan of action.
Dealing with sexual harassment
During the last decade sexual harassment in the workplace has hit the headlines in various sensational court cases involving the bold, the beautiful and the beastly.
Although people have tried to trivialise and marginalise the issue of unwanted sexual advances in the workplace, it is no laughing matter. The bottom line is that sexual harassment is violence against people, in most cases women. It is aimed at creating a hostile environment in which your dignity is violated, your productivity affected, and where you may even be forced to resign.
Unwelcome overtures in the workplace is a phenomenon that has been encountered in some form or another by two-thirds of working women, irrespective of age and marital status.
Preventing sexual harassment calls for a practical but very firm approach.
Sexual harassment defined …
Sexual harassment includes any form of unwanted sexual behaviour in the workplace — touching, patting, fondling and, in the most extreme cases, rape.
In some cases women may be blackmailed into surrendering to sexual advances against their will or for fear of losing a job benefit such as a salary raise or promotion or even being fired. For this reason the offenders are usually men in powerful positions — bosses or clients — who are in the position to coerce.
… and undefined
More difficult to pin down are subtle innuendos, inappropriate gestures, suggestions or hints, leers, jokes and degrading remarks.
Although most of us will hopefully never have to deal with gross forms of sexual harassment, many of us have experienced covert forms of sexual harassment such as the crude phrase or a look that lasts a fraction too long.
Unfortunately, because this kind of behaviour is so difficult to define, a lot of unpleasantness continues. You are sometimes left wondering, “Now did he mean that or not?”
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