What do women want from work anyway? The same advantages that men seek — opportunity, responsibility and respect.
But sexist attitudes assume that a woman’s expectations in the workplace differ from those of the average man. Natasha Josefowitz, author of Paths to power, gives us a tongue-in-cheek tabulation of common His/Her attitudes. Recognize them?
‘His’ and ‘Her’ attitudes are rooted in the values that we subscribe to. They often manifest quite spontaneously in things we say and do as the above comments suggest. The casual statement, the gesture or look and the opinion we offer all betray sexist attitudes.
There are no pat solutions for countering these problems with confidence, professionalism and wit. For most of us they present new and uncharted waters. You will have to experiment by trial and error as you deal with them. But deal with them you must, if you are going to be taken seriously in the workplace.
Here are some verbal putdowns with serious consequences that I have heard time and again. How would you deal with them?
“She doesn’t need a promotion, she has a husband to support her.”
Make a note of who said this! This dangerous comment betrays chauvinistic attitudes that could seriously impede your progress if they reflect the overall culture and climate of your organisation. The speaker does not regard women employees as having the right to a fully fledged career, a decent salary or treatment that is comparable to that of men. Investigate whether this is unwritten company policy or just a personal prejudice.
“Is she good-looking too?”
Comments about your looks are out of place and inappropriate. Distinguish them from occasional and sincere direct compliments on your appearance. Negative remarks like this are usually asides and often have sexual undertones.
At grassroots level the speaker has the viewpoint that a woman is a sex object who is measured in terms of her physical attributes. Discourage this by keeping your dress and appearance professional. Avoid the little-girl look too.
“Offer her a lower salary, she‘ll take it.”
Did you know that women throughout the world earn about a third less than men in similar positions with similar qualifications? This discrepancy is not limited to gaps in gross salary. It often wears the guise of absent perks: no housing subsidy or travelling expenses and less generous medical and pension benefits.
Be careful of accepting a job that carries an impressive title but is not accompanied by an equitable salary. Learn to bargain and negotiate. If this kind of comment comes up in a hiring meeting where you have a say, as it has in my case, confront the situation. Negotiate a fair deal on behalf of the absent female colleague.
“Here’s some fatherly advice …”
Fatherly or brotherly advice is fine when it comes from the right people - loving dads and favourite brothers! We are not the daughters or sisters (neither the wives nor the girlfriends) of the men we work with.
We are responsible and competent professionals who have the right to be treated as such. But make sure that you earn that right. Don’t act the office mother for your male colleagues, pouring their tea or delivering their post. Don’t be flirtatious or cute otherwise you will be treated like a girlfriend. Accept advice, yes, particularly from mentors or sponsors, but even then keep the relationship strictly professional.
Reject the fatherly bit which is often conveyed by body language - a pat on the shoulder, a patronizing attitude or a tete-a-tete style meeting.
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