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At risk of dwelling upon the negativities of relationships, it is important to consider two very strong and most upsetting emotional states—hate and jealousy.

Most of us have experienced hate (many loving relationships have a subtle or not-so-subtle hate component). As for jealousy, you will most probably know someone, if not yourself, who is predisposed to this strong emotional state.

Let me briefly mention the case of Michael, an architectural draughtsman who is married to Lisa. Michael comes from a close-knit Southern European family and married Lisa, an attractive Australian lass, when they were both in their early twenties and when both were socially and sexually inexperienced. Even though Michael is bright, well-qualified and successful in his job, he nevertheless is pathologically jealous of his wife and any association she might have with other men. ..more

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The end of a relationship can be accompanied by despair, despondency and even depression. You will probably know at least one person whose work performance plummeted after a relationship breakup—if you haven’t experienced this misfortune yourself.

William, a product manager with a large manufacturing firm had been seeing Caroline on a steady basis for nine months when she told him one evening that there just wasn’t enough in their relationship to warrant any further contact. This news came suddenly and unexpectedly and William was devastated. He did not arrive at work the next day and rang in to say he was sick and would not be at work for a week. When he did return, his colleagues remarked about how ill he still looked. William said he had a severe case of influenza and hoped to bounce back quickly. In reality, it took William months to overcome the trauma of his severed relationship. During that period, his work performance was most decidedly down. His confidence and general outlook on life were also at low ebb. Fortunately, he had the good sense to see a professional about his emotional state, a move which facilitated his recovery. ..more

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Love and hate are potent feelings which can overwhelm you, often just when your emotions can least afford the upset. For example, how often have you experienced the following situations?

• Feelings of love interfere with your concentration at work.
• You love (and sometimes hate) a person who doesn’t love you.
• You hate your boss or a colleague.
• You’re jealous of the attention given to a person you love.
• You love a person working nearby, but fear acting upon your feelings.
• You were in a relationship until yesterday when your partner said, Enough! ..more
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