Dodo Loves Marketing

How should we reach out to the people on the committee?

Your goal in dealing with the committee is not to walk in unprepared, but rather to do the necessary work up-front to reach out to all the members of the group before your meeting. This may mean a long series of phone calls, e-mails, and even face-to-face meetings before your committee presentation. Only you can determine whether this investment of time and effort is worth it. However, in deals that carry high price tags, it is quite common for a committee to deliver the final recommendation, and it may well be worth identifying the key players and discussing their priorities ahead of time. ..more

• Read More »

It is quite common for our request for a Next Step to meet with the following response: “Let me bounce this off the so- and-so committee (or: such-and-such a work group) and see what they have to say about it.”

Or:

“I’ll have to run this past the committee—they make all the decisions in this area.”

Or:

“It looks good—we just need to get approval from the committee, but don’t worry, that’s just a formality.” ..more

• Read More »

Save this for the potentially huge account (or huge current customer) you know you are about to lose to a competitor. (Clear it with your boss first, of course.) ..more

• Read More »

Why those terms?

An extremely important negotiating question. If you don’t ask it at least once, you are not doing your job well.

If you have an impasse on one of those three things, you can always step back and ask to look at one of the other three elements.

If an issue is only producing disagreement and frustration, there is no sin in asking that it be postponed in order to allow you and the prospect to discuss something that you do agree on. Emphasize commonalities, and you will eventually be able to build up enough trust to move forward to the most difficult issues. ..more

• Read More »

I am a big believer in reshuffling and reconfiguring my offering during the negotiation phase. I will never simply discount my price, but I will, as suggested in the earlier question, throw out a different price to determine whether or not it will work for the prospect. Once I determine that it will, I will go back to the drawing board and redraw and rearrange my offering, taking elements out and putting new elements in, so that I can find a new and different mix that will work for this prospect in this situation. ..more

• Read More »

LEVEL 2: CLASHES

The central message is designed to help us manage differences in good relationships. Clashes happen in good relationships.

Despite our best efforts, Annoyances sometimes accumulate and grow into Clashes. How do we know when the line has been crossed? Indications are:

• Repeated arguments about the same issue, perhaps spread over days or weeks.
• Arguing over an increasing number of issues.
• Feeling less co-operative toward the Other.
• Feeling less trusting of the Other’s honest good will toward us.
• Remaining angry at the Other for a longer period, perhaps hours or days.
• Beginning to privately question the value of the relationship. ..more
  • Read More »

Some conflicts are hardly noticeable as they ebb and flow through our daily social encounters. Others grow into intense disputes that spawn interpersonal tragedies. The severity of conflict ranges from insignificant Annoyances through a middle range of Clashes to severe Crises that threaten the life of the relationship.

Just as a golfer selects the proper club for the shot, and a mechanic chooses the right tool for the job, different levels of conflict call for different strategies. ..more

• Read More »

Recall that one of our Wrong Reflexes is Non-communication. We too eagerly disengage from the other, withdraw, escape to safety behind a wall of inaccessibility.

Being unavailable for contact ensures that conflict remains unresolved. A sage once said, ‘Abstinence from communication is the essence of conflict‘. Without doubt, no resolution is possible without communication. So, the first and most fundamental requirement is to establish a time in which communication can occur.

It works even betterwhen both people know it. But on many occasions you alone will initiate and actively manage the process. So we will assume that you are solely responsible. ..more

• Read More »

The purpose of planning the context, is to create a setting for effective communication.

Location

A private place that is free from interruptions should be selected. Importantly, phone calls and people walking in should be prevented. Even music should be eliminated. Moving objects or people are visual distractions. The meeting should occur in a private room that other people will not inadvertently enter. A place where neither person feels on home turf, or a site preferred by your Other is best. ..more

• Read More »

Do Not Score Points

Conciliatory gestures always place the person offering them in a vulnerable position. His Other is presented with an opportunity to take advantage of the open, non- defensive comment to ’score a point’.

When the Other offers a conciliatory gesture, you should not yield to the temptation to score. Do not take advantage of your Other’s vulnerability, even if he takes advantage of yours. Rejecting the Other’s efforts to conciliate is a common retaliatory tactic used during ordinary arguments. But doing so damages trust and widens the gap to be bridged. The Dialogue is not an ordinary argument. For many people, scoring points may be an old bad habit; try not to do it. ..more

• Read More »

Performing your two tasks within the recommended structure and context of the discussion releases energy that is bound up in conflict. This produces a shift in attitudes from me-against-you to us-against-the-problem.

THE STRUCTURE

The meeting consists of four parts: The Opening, the Invitation, the Dialogue, and the Breakthrough. Let’s flesh out the skeleton with examples of how each part may be performed. ..more

• Read More »

3. Invent OPTIONS for mutual gain.

Interest-based bargaining promotes a less contentious climate in the Dialogue that aids the search for both-gain solutions. In this more collaborative mode, you may search creatively for alternatives that might benefit both of you. Now the Dialogue is a problem-solving discussion where your orientation is us-against-the-problem rather than me-against-you. Ideally, both disputants can brainstorm possible solutions, listing as many ideas as you can think of without worrying about how practical or promising they are. Once a pool of alternative solutions has been brainstormed, each option can be tested for compatibility with each disputant’s underlying self-interests. ..more

• Read More »

Simply engaging in face-to-face conversation in the appropriate context while complying with the Cardinal Rules helps people manage their differences and build more satisfying relationships.

But the sceptical reader is asking, ‘What about skills? Aren’t special skills needed in the Dialogue?’

How old are you? You have that many years’ experience in the school of life. You have learned more than you may realise about how to communicate, about how to get along with others. Of course, we also learn ineffective communication patterns along with more positive skills. But, on balance, most adults who are able to maintain friendships, hold jobs, join groups, and survive the crucible of family life possess sufficient communication skills. ..more

• Read More »

WRITTEN

Normally, agreements are more complicated than simple yes-or-no decisions or other easy-to-remember solutions. Recording Deals in mutually acceptable terms will help protect against selective memory loss in the future. Each person should keep copies of the written document. Sometimes questions arise in the future about what was in fact agreed to. The written document is objective evidence that can help answer such questions. ..more

• Read More »

Defensiveness, mistrust, and vengefulness lift like morning fog from the interpersonal battlefield, revealing possible routes around the rock in the road. Both you and your other are now emotionally ready to join efforts in mutually searching for the best route.

Why does the Breakthrough happen? Ironically, it does not result from logical persuasion, rational thinking, or reasonable problem-solving, although we may think so at the time. Instead, it springs automatically from several psychological forces that converge to produce this significant but often unnoticed event. ..more

• Read More »

The problem does not have to be solved for the conflict to be resolved.

`Hogwash!’ you exclaim. ‘That doesn’t make sense!’ Let’s take a closer look.

Many people find it surprising that the path to harmony winds through a jungle where anger, resentment and similar ‘negative’ feelings flourish.

A Lesson from Psychology

One of the most common tasks of psychotherapists is to help clients become aware of their repressed anger, and to aid them in learning to express it in non-destructive, non-violent, healthy ways in appropriate situations. Seldom do therapists find it suitable to help their clients suppress angry feelings. Repressed anger is a major cause of neurosis, particularly depression, and poisons interpersonal relationships. ..more

• Read More »

Reality-Testing

Unless perceptions are tested against objective reality (what the Other really means), inaccuracies can grow. Talking together tests the accuracy of our perceptions against the replies of our partner. Effective day-to-day management of interpersonal differences requires conversation.

When interdependency is high and time for communication is limited, the burden on both persons’ abilities to efficiently check out perceptions is heavy. Being busy people, time is seldom so abundant that the burden of reality-testing does not occasionally exceed our abilities to communicate, to hear and understand the Other. ..more

• Read More »

This desire for peace is surely understandable, but it can lead to trouble. If unchecked, the hope for conflict to disappear brings the expectation that if mediation is successful, my client’s relationship will be free of conflict in the future. If that is my mission, I am doomed to failure.

A Fantasy

Our fantasy is that conflict should be absent in ‘good’ relationships. We regard conflict as a social disease, and assume that there must be a cure. ..more

• Read More »

Organisational Cancer

There are six cancers that affect the health of organisations. They are Change Paralysis, Score Politics, Havoc, Mission Drift, Stampede and Nepotism.

Organisational cancers are caused by the attitudinal and behavioural responses of business managers and their teams to the priority declarations, strategies, decisions, policies, regulations, value systems and practices originating from owners, chief executives, boards of directors, functional custodians (such as accountants and engineers) and strong individual leaders. ..more

• Read More »

Firms that experience poor or deteriorating global competitiveness generally suffer from a number of organisational diseases. These diseases originate from internal business management practices or are caused by the dynamics of the market and the intrusion of governments.

Organisational diseases can be explained in terms of the human body and its habitat. The human body is under constant threat of cancers, genetically encoded sicknesses, viruses, bacteria, toxins and injuries. When the body is poorly managed or maintained, ..more

• Read More »