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Shyness affects just about everyone under certain situations. While most people cope reasonably well with occasional shyness, there are some who live in a personal prison, unable to reach out and make friends or relate positively to others. Being shy at work can severely limit work effectiveness, unless of course, you work generally on your own with little or no contact with others.

Shy people present themselves at work in many varied ways. There is the quiet wallflower who fades into the background and is not often noticed. At the opposite extreme, there is the raging extrovert who can be loud, aggressive and abrasive, but who finds it difficult to relate on an intimate level to others. In between, there are many other people, such as the knocker, the person who knocks or degrades others. ..more

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Practical confrontation skills

Being able to stand up to people and speak firmly and constructively to them, is a valuable skill in handling problem people. If you tend to fume and walk away from a confrontation muttering to yourself, ‘I wish I had said . . . !! to that*O#!’, then you need confrontation skills.

Constructively confronting people is a communication strategy which allows you to speak your mind and represent your feelings in a direct way. It is not a strategy of name calling or aggressive outbursts. ..more

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With reference to a particular person X at work, do you frequently

• Wake up in the morning and immediately think ‘Oh no, I’ve got to face X again today’?
• Store anger throughout the day about X?
• Find yourself frequently in conflict with X?
• Experience jealousy about others‘ ability to get on with X?
• Back away from confrontations with X and then get angry at
  yourself because of your inability to act appropriately?

• Disagree or have arguments with your boss, who unfortunately is X? ..more
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Problem people frequently create turmoil and dissension in the work group. Being able to stand aside from strong emotions and think logically and creatively is a most critical skill, but one which will require preparation and practice. Let’s look at a series of steps which you might try to sort out a problem with a person at your workplace.

1 Treat the person with respect

Just as it often takes two people to make a problem, frequently requires participation of the same two to reach mutually agreeable solution. Threat and intimidation can hinder problem solving, so be certain to approach the person with sort out a very sticky and difficult work problem by approaching the other party firmly and positively. Jennifer’s opening words were particularly impressive: ‘There seems to be a spot of bother in this matter and I’m calling to ask for your assistance in sorting out the problem.’ By asking for the other person’s help and assistance, there was little or no threat and a mutually agreeable solution was readily negotiated. ..more

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At risk of dwelling upon the negativities of relationships, it is important to consider two very strong and most upsetting emotional states—hate and jealousy.

Most of us have experienced hate (many loving relationships have a subtle or not-so-subtle hate component). As for jealousy, you will most probably know someone, if not yourself, who is predisposed to this strong emotional state.

Let me briefly mention the case of Michael, an architectural draughtsman who is married to Lisa. Michael comes from a close-knit Southern European family and married Lisa, an attractive Australian lass, when they were both in their early twenties and when both were socially and sexually inexperienced. Even though Michael is bright, well-qualified and successful in his job, he nevertheless is pathologically jealous of his wife and any association she might have with other men. ..more

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Working Absenteeism

Absenteeism continues to be a major industrial and economic problem. The causes are numerous, but where worker satisfaction is high, absenteeism is generally low. The problem is all too frequently dismissed by workers as a fault with the system, but management generally takes a far more serious view. Absent workers put a strain on their workmates who are generally required to take over the duties of the missing person. With less than the required number of workers available, the work process can be significantly retarded causing serious declines in productivity.

If you, the worker, are aware that you are taking time off work for sickies or because you are feeling just a bit off, then you should ask yourself what is wrong with your work situation. What is prompting you to be absent when you are basically fit for work? We can all have grey to black days. However, if these days occur every week or so, there is a problem somewhere. ..more

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An employee says, “I had nothing to do with it. I don’t know anything about it.” However, a reliable source reports that he was the prime instigator.

An employee tells you, “The project is coming along beautifully. No problems.” Your secretary tells you he hasn’t even opened the file yet.

One of your salespeople reports that a potential customer has responded enthusiastically to her sales pitch and “plans to sign a contract very soon.” You happen to run into the potential customer and learn that his response was lukewarm and that he has signed with a competitor.

“Employees attempt to deceive their bosses for several basic reasons,” notes Ronald C. Pilenzo, president and chief operating officer of the Society for Human Resource Management in Alexandria, VA: ..more

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