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The problem does not have to be solved for the conflict to be resolved.

`Hogwash!’ you exclaim. ‘That doesn’t make sense!’ Let’s take a closer look.

Many people find it surprising that the path to harmony winds through a jungle where anger, resentment and similar ‘negative’ feelings flourish.

A Lesson from Psychology

One of the most common tasks of psychotherapists is to help clients become aware of their repressed anger, and to aid them in learning to express it in non-destructive, non-violent, healthy ways in appropriate situations. Seldom do therapists find it suitable to help their clients suppress angry feelings. Repressed anger is a major cause of neurosis, particularly depression, and poisons interpersonal relationships. ..more

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This desire for peace is surely understandable, but it can lead to trouble. If unchecked, the hope for conflict to disappear brings the expectation that if mediation is successful, my client’s relationship will be free of conflict in the future. If that is my mission, I am doomed to failure.

A Fantasy

Our fantasy is that conflict should be absent in ‘good’ relationships. We regard conflict as a social disease, and assume that there must be a cure. ..more

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The purchase incidence of toys, games, and dolls has been up and down since 2000, ranging from 45 percent in 2000 to 54 percent in 2001 and 50 percent in 2003. While children represent the core user market for toys, more adults are buying toys, not just for kids, but for their own playtime. Toys are popular adult collectibles, and more toy companies are recognizing that adults, just like their kids, want to play with toys. ..more

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These levels of achievement will certainly help redirect an employee’s focus toward becoming world class. However, the manager’s efforts at career redirection will be forever hindered if all of the pay signals are telling the employee to look upward.

Although each of us is motivated by money in different ways, the fact of the matter is that few of us are repelled by money. All of us may not hunger for it, but only a tiny minority of us find money positively distasteful. Therefore the simple truth is that it will be much easier for managers to redirect employees toward alternative career paths if some of those paths involve a raise in pay. ..more

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A difficulty in discriminating between our conditioned disempowering conscience and our true empowering conscience, is that what is seemingly right for one particular culture may be viewed as wrong by another. For example, one culture may choose to receive payment from the person accused of causing the death of a family member as appropriate compensation, but this custom of accepting ‘blood money’ could be considered immoral by another culture. Because of different cultural views, therefore, it is important to differentiate between morality and conscience. ..more

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Often when we decide we want something, we want it now, and when we do not get it straight away, we feel that life is unfair, that we have been treated unjustly, even cheated. Sometimes we convince ourselves that it is because others, and even forces beyond us, do not want us to have what we want. In choosing to believe that we have been singled out, we may rationalise that we must do unto others before they do unto us, or, at the very least, get in first before others, rather than adhere to the Golden Rule of treating others as we would wish to be treated. In taking things personally, we convince ourselves that the acquisition of our desires is at the mercy of the inquisition by others. ..more

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Herons are fortunate in their ability to be patient in fishing for what they want. For his part, Man is unique in placing time constraints on the results that he wants in life and, in so doing, becomes restless rather than still. It is of course far easier to be patient for something when the outcome of it is certain, because in certainty there is less room for anxiety.

There is a direct correlation between patience and certainty as there is between impatience and doubt. The more impatient you are for something to go the way you want, the more you begin to question whether it will. Say, for example, you begin to question an intuitive idea that you were once certain was right. ..more

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We must seek to cultivate infinite patience through being certain about our outcomes, while simultaneously being unconcerned as to when and how. This involves understanding our relationships with everything around us. In the same way that a drop of water taken from the ocean has the characteristics of its source, so each of us are actually part of an Infinite Universal Spirit.

Throughout the ages numerous cultures have referred to the Spiritual Force that dwells in everything. ..more

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Imagine a modern Rip Van Winkle waking up from a twenty-year sleep, He would surely be amazed at how the world has changed: He would be bewildered by new technology, bowled over at the speed and clutter of life in 2001, dazzled by the sheer abundance being thrust at him. The torrent of new products, goods, services, ideas, and innovations vying for his attention would be shocking.

How would he react? I suspect, like people through the ages in suddenly changed circumstances, Rip would reset his bearings from his old perspective before cautiously testing the new water. Like a child who clings to a teddy bear well into adolescence, or a lottery winner who repaints the old house, he would cling to the familiar and be slow to embrace what is new. ..more

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